It had to be done

I didn't want to do it. I swore I would never do it. I swore that a pair of scissors would never desecrate my daughter's gorgeous locks of curly hair. But I had to do it. When wet, the curls straightened almost to her tailbone. But when dry, they tangled so easily. Especially after sleeping. The top layer of hair just needed a little tiny trim. So, we had time alone together and a good opportunity and I did it today.

Here is the before picture:

Just kidding, this is a couple weeks old, but I thought it was cute. You know, the typical "before" picture when people look almost intentionally bad. I don't have any pictures that really showed the length in the back, but here is one I took yesterday:






It only shows the front view, but you get the picture. Cutting my only daughter's hair for the first time is a big deal for me, a tragedy as well as a reason for celebration.

Aaaaaaannnnd Affftteeeeeerr!

Ok, so maybe you don't see a huge difference. Bad photography. But I do, and hopefully now her hair can be healthier and easier to take care of.

Like the model pose? She moves too fast to capture...literally a blur.

The back view, if I had a before back view you could really tell a difference, it is much shorter. So here's hoping we can go through one less gallon of conditioner and detangler a month!

Homework from Joan Horner

(co-founder of Premier Designs) as I have loosely translated...
1. Start each day with a smile. A smile makes the spirit joyful.
2.Smile more often. Nobody likes to look at a frown on our faces. When the heart is sad the spirit is crushed.
3.Give an encouraging word to each person you are with during the day. Be positive. Be cheerful with your family.

If you do not do this...
You will be sad. When the heart is sad, the spirit is broken. "When Mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" The tone of the family is set by the mother. Just one person.

Confessions and Pictures

I am afraid that in the positive spirit I am attempting to keep on my blog, I fear I may mislead some people into thinking I am perfect. Suuuuper Moommmm!!! And always super positive every minute of every day. So here is my confession to you...some things that are not perfect about me, in true Gracias form...not all to be taken literally. And some cute pictures, finally extracted from my naughty camera.

1. I have had overdue library books. Twice.

2. I do not have a perfectly clean house every day. Or almost any day. Sue me. 3. I care more about overdue library books than a clean house.

4. If you notice my daughter's "milk" moustache in these pictures to be especially prominent, it is because it is not milk. Three guesses as to what it is(it's nothing gross.)
5. I sometimes get in a bad mood when things do not go my way. Or when I don't feel good. Or like a whole week out of each month when I try to pretend I'm not in a bad mood.
6. My kids walk around in their underwear a lot. Hey, it's summer, and Daughter has learned to remove her own clothing so I'm lucky to even have undies on her at all most of the time! Peace and love, not clothing, baby!

7. My picture-taking frequency has gone way down because of #6, so I have noticed a big drop in the quantity of pictures, but I will try to improve the quality of them...the confession part is that I really have no patience to learn how to properly use my camera. When I push the button, it should take a perfect picture every time, right? Why does it not come out right?8. I don't like losing or not being good at something. I will avoid an activity I know I will not win or I am not good at. Or if forced to play, I will intentionally not try just so I won't have to feel bad about losing. I know, I am a poor sport.

9. I am not an animal lover. I like the abstract concept of them, but I don't like cleaning up after them(but seriously, does anyone?) This was a huge blow to my animal-loving husband.



10. I think I am OCD. I think that is why I can't get my house clean, because I go waaaaaay overboard on each tiny detail and forget about the bigger picture until I have run out of time and energy. I even had to think extra hard to stretch out the last few confessions to have a nice even number ten for you...like you care if there are 9 or 10.


So if I have nothing nice(and positive) to say(blog,) I blog nothing at all. Of course, that is not the only reason you may see a gap in posts. Sometimes I am busy, others I simply have no thoughts worth sharing, but sometimes I just don't have the positivity in me that day. And that is okay. All will be right with the world after a nice long nap.

One of My Jobs

was on the news. A few months ago, but I have just learned about it, and I am excited about it. And grateful. I just watched this news clip about Premier. It showed our jewelry ON TV!! Ok, I need to focus here. I meant to write a serious post, thankfulness for this job, not gushing over how I have that very necklace they showed on TV(even though I do!) A new catalogue coming out, and now THIS!!! Ahem...

Four score and Three years ago, our forefathers......too serious? Let me try again...

Three years ago I signed up with this company and have not regretted it one minute. I made my investment back quickly and have made so much more than money. I have made friends of my hostesses, made them and their friends feel pretty and laugh for the night, given them thousands of dollars in free jewelry to make them feel pretty for a very long time(and their husbands' wallets feel happy.) I have made lasting friendships with my fellow jewelers and Premier mom, Jenn, who calls me to talk about nothing at all or to see how I am doing. These women, in the real world, would be my competition. But in the Premier world, they are my friends and encouragers. They cheer for me and care about me as a person and as a jeweler. And I care about them long after they move away or no longer sell the "jewels," as we affectionately call them.

My darling husband encouraged me to sign up and had faith that I could do this. I thought that I would be a terrible salesperson, as I am not "pushy" or "sales-y" by nature, but instead of the typical husband response of "whatever you want, dear" he told me, " I think you should do it!" What a man. I know. I think he knew I would not have had the confidence to try if he had not had the confidence for me. He has watched the kids for almost every show I have done, and encouraged me to go to trainings, attended them when men were "allowed" and has always been just the right amount of supportive.

The biggest gift I have received from my business has not been the Christmas gifts it has paid for or the free jewelry certificates they thrill me with from time to time. I have changed. I cannot even describe the miracle that has happened, but I will try. I have worked for three years, and I have discovered a confidence in myself as a person and a woman that I did not have before. That is the reason I was able to look inside myself and think about what I really wanted to do with my life...and have the confidence to think that I could do it. I will fall, but it is the picking myself back up that gives me strength. It has made me a better wife and mother, and a better person.

I have neglected to talk about my jewelry here for fear of seeming pushy, but this is my blog, and my thoughts are here, so today, you read about jewelry. Want some for free? Now you know someone...

Twitter

Apparently, I am doing quite the trendy thing. Between Facebook and my beloved blogs, I am with the "in crowd" these days. {shudder} I hate to be trendy. But my darling husband has been asking me why I do not Twitter also. I have a sneaking suspicion he is being a tiny bit sarcastic, as he just might want something to tease me about. But I looked into it. Apparently, Twitter is huge right now. Like, totally trendy, which totally repels me. Strike One. All the celebs are doing it on their Blackberries...strike two. You are limited to 140 characters??? All right.. that does it. I am sorry, I know you all will be hugely disappointed but if you remember from a certain earlier post I wrote about texting, that is just not enough room for me. As much as you wanted to be continually updated on the minute to minute excitement that is my life, I can't fit it into 140 characters. And it is trendy. eew. I have to invest my energy into less trendy and more constructive endeavors...but hark!
I hear from the other room the "Ohhhhhhhh!" sound in unison from my children. Do you know what that means? Oh, yeah, Spongebob is on and they are not napping. So the blogging break is over. See you later, trendy friend.

Flexibility

Sometimes life throws you a curveball. Sometimes you strike out. We all have those bad days or days when we struggle to regain our perspective.

One thing I have learned is that I need to learn to trust outside myself. I like to be in control of my surroundings, every detail immaculately planned and executed according to the plans made well in advance. But, the best laid plans will sometimes go awry. I live in the world and I have children. That should explain it.

So my children are teaching me a lesson that I have never before learned. I have to be flexible and learn to take life as it comes. I have recently learned that not everything in life is divided down the lines of right and wrong, as in the right way to do things(my way) versus the wrong way to do them(someone else's idea.) It is okay to have preferences, or to have something work a little better than something else, but it is also okay if someone doesn't butter their toast the "right" way. That is just how I prefer to do it(back when I ate toast with butter, that is.) A true but very simplified example.

I have made many plans in my life, in my motherhood specifically, on the "right" way I wanted to raise my kids. But somewhere along the line I realized that if I stick too stubbornly to the "right" way, I would be ignoring my kids' needs and what made them happy. So I am trying to focus first on their happiness, then making the plans afterward, instead of the other way around. And sometimes as a mom, you have to know when to just let go and have fun.

The trouble I have with this is my thinking. Someone I heard speak once said to "Quit your stinkin' thinkin'!" I believe that is impossible for me. Believe me, I have tried. But what I can do is plan to be flexible. If I have plans A, B, C-M, and so on, then I can have the appearance of being flexible for other people's sakes and still feel in control for my own sake. Because if plans A-L don't work out, I know plan M will come through. And if not, I can make up plan N at a moment's notice. I just have to plan for it.

P.S. I apologize for the lack of pictures of late, but it is due to some technical difficulties and I promise to be back soon with some good ones. Meaning, I will give the camera to L.

Where has the Summer gone already?

How the summer has flown. July is officially going on my calendar every year as a crazy month.
It is now just days until school starts again. There are school supply displays in every store. My dear boy is going into the first year of real school. Where did the time go? And where is his classroom? Who is his teacher? What time does school get out? So many questions...I feel like a kid lost on the first day of school myself, so many unknowns. But silly, because all too soon all these questions will have answers and we be in the thick of it before I blink again. I had better cut open a watermelon and enjoy what is left of this summer while it is still here. I hope you do too.

The decision has been made...I think.

Thanks for all your votes. By the way, option #4 was a trick question, nobody was actually supposed to admit they don't think I will ever grow up. But you are safe in the anonymity that is the internet, so don't worry. I think I have decided where my heart lies for a future career. But it is a secret because I have yet to figure out exactly what it will take to accomplish this lofty goal. So thank you for your votes, but ultimately, it is all up to me. No pressure or anything. Seeing as how I am possibly the most indecisive person alive, I may see "what it takes" and decide that it's not for me either. So when I know for sure the whens and hows, I will keep you posted. And I am sure you will all lie in bed awake at night wondering just WHAT it could possibly be that J has decided to do with her life. Please, do not lose any sleep, if you are that curious, you can email me and I will tell you my tentative Plan For My Future Career. Just keep it quiet so I don't lose face if I change my mind. Again.

Dear Husband

I was thinking about my sweet husband this morning after he left. He looked very handsome and toned in the outfit he chose to wear. His pants are like an inside secret between the two of us, history that we have. It makes me smile to see him wear them.

I hope he enjoyed the dinner I made especially for him last night. It is a bit of a challenge to cook healthy and delicious meals at the same time, but I try.

I listened to him breathe last night as we lay in bed. I usually fall asleep quickly, but for some reason it took me a little while and I got to hear the sweet sounds of his breath deepening as he finally got to relax for the day. I was grateful to hear it because I worry if he is getting enough rest, as hard as he works and as late as he stays up studying sometimes.

I love him so much it is hard to be a burden on him sometimes when I do not feel well. I just want to be nothing but sweetness and light, an angel who is always radiant and patient, beautiful even in the pain of childbirth, smiling as I push out his cherubs into the world. Unfortunately, I am but a lowly human and that means sickness with the health, poor times with the rich, bad times along with the good. But somehow, when you are with that perfect person, even the worst of times are still good times. So I'll take the dirt, sweat, blood, pain, and tears, as long as he comes with it.

Sweet Child(s) O' Mine

Welcome Home, my dear ones. I have missed you so. I know it has not been that long, and I hope you had a good time, but know that your mother has suffered without you. Body and soul. I hope to be on the road upwards now. I look forward to seeing your two smiling faces as you call out, "Mommy!" and run into my waiting arms. Then maybe I can feel complete again.