Finally, a new post!

As you may have noticed, I have neglected to post for quite some time. It is not that I have nothing to say, but I just prefer to have most of my posts accompanied by a visual aid. I have not gotten the pics off of my camera in a shamefully long time. I had a little memory card scare, thought I'd lost them all, but thankfully recovered them. So I won't overload you with pictures all at once, I thought I'd draw them out to make it interesting.


Motherhood is hard. Don't get me wrong, I love it. I love being with my children and my life at home. But I constantly worry if I am doing it right. I took a class called Developmental Psychology a few years ago. I remember being so glad I took it before I had kids because NOW I understand what makes them tick. HA. HA. Don't get me wrong, it did help. But my children are extensions of me. Which makes them very unusually complicated. And crazy smart. So smart they scare me sometimes. I have to closely supervise their every move.


I have often wondered why it seems to be so much harder for me to keep things tidy than everyone else on the planet. I have two theories:
1. I am not Martha Stewart. I would prefer to have fun with my kids and cook gourmet-ish meals than clean all day. I try, but it seems to be spectacularly hard for me to simultaneously have the entire house perfectly clean at once. Is this just a myth? Is it even possible?
2. My kids are too smart. I will emerge from a perfectly clean room to discover permanent marker on the wall in the next. Or pink craft paint on the carpet(both true stories.) So I am not giving up, of course, but I just wonder if it is like this for everyone. One friend told me she gets time to clean if she puts on a favorite cartoon to keep them occupied. Really? I get about 5-10 minutes before I get nervous.


I love my children more than life itself. I love being their mother. Really. But being a stay-at-home mother seems to be a job the rest of the world does not take seriously. I don't know about the rest of them, but I have never seen Oprah. I don't watch soap operas. Sometimes I get time to watch whatever is recorded during naptime, but my point is that it is a very busy day every day making sure the kids are safe, happy, clean-ish, fed, and properly nurtured in their psychological growth.

So I just wanted, as a prelude to my next paragraph, and picture, to give a picture of the stay-at-home-hood as I see it. It is sometimes a thankless job for which you receive no monetary compensation, but L and I chose this sacrifice as what we thought would be the best way we could raise our children. And I still believe that. Some people devalue what we do as stay at home moms. I just wanted to emphasize what an important and difficult job it is.





So lately I have been a bit concerned for my oldest child. Is he getting the proper attention since we had his little sis? He was the center of the entire planet for 3 years, no kidding. And while he still is, he has to share the spotlight(and mom's lap) so I wanted to make sure he had some special alone time with mom while his sister takes naps. I found this cute little project on clearance, it cost $2.50, I think, but was several days' worth of quality time with my boy. You learn so much about your child when you watch them work on a project. He is my little perfectionist in the making(sorry, kid.) He does not like to accept help(again, sorry, got it from me.) He wants to do things juuuuust right and gets frustrated when he can't make his hands do what he imagines(again, sorry.) But I got the chance to really encourage him and tell him what a great job he was doing. I secretly hoped that this would make a memory that would last forever for him. It feels good to have someone praise you, even if your project doesn't turn out exactly like you wanted. And it is so important to have unconditional love and acceptance. And I didn't say a word about getting paint on his clothes.


I have seen some old-school parents from past generations who want their kids to be so perfect that they end up constantly picking at them. What they don't realize is that is a very bad habit to start. It damages the child's self esteem for a lifetime. When the child grows into an adult, the parent still has that habit and is very critical of their every move. It is damaging not only to the child's psyche, but the relationship with the parent as well. I am not pointing any fingers here, and I am definitely not referring to my parents. They have very gracefully transitioned into my adulthood and being supportive of my decisions, etc. Just thought that was important to note. I am just trying to be very aware of my own perfectionism, and not expecting it out of my children. I try to give them verbal encouragement whenever possible. Not even I can live up to my own perfectionism, much less a four-year-old. So when he 'accidentally' cuts a hole in his inflatable ball pit, I play the realistic comforter role. "I am sorry that happened, but maybe you can learn a very important lesson about taking care of your things." Oh, goodness, am I doing this right?

*perfectionist alert* I found a typo and could not let it go uncorrected...