Once Upon a Time...

there was a beautiful little toddler, we'll call her Baughter*. She was precocious and too smart for her own good. One day Baught(for short) went to her closest Auntie, Bessica's house. Bessica had moved to a new house just the day before. Baught and her mommy were going to help Auntie Bessica unpack and get settled in her new house. As Baught's mommy filled a closet with blankets and Auntie took a shower, Baught went into her cousin's room, shut the door and locked it. Baught's mommy realized what Baught had done just a moment later and tried the doorknob. To her surprise, it would not turn. Supposing it to be a run-of-the-mill household doorknob, mommy went to get a butterknife or screwdriver to open it. When she leaned in to insert the screwdriver she had found, she discovered that it was no ordinary doorknob. It was a special security doorknob that required a special key to open it. There were no screws or hinges that could be removed to open it. Her first reaction was to laugh in disbelief, as Baught had never locked a door before, and had just the night before learned how to use a doorknob. Mommy peeked her head into the bathroom where Auntie was showering.
"Ummm, Bess? Do you happen to have a key for that door..."
"Oh, (fill in the blank) no! I don't!"
Mommy could not do anything but laugh at the absurdness of it all, even as Auntie started to panic. Mommy hoped she could get Baught to figure out what she had done and how she had done it, maybe this uncommonly brilliant child could be led to understand. Baught understood that there was a problem, but not how it was caused or how to fix it.
"Mommy?" then "Uh-Oh." was heard as Mommy knocked on the door and rattled the doorknob. Mommy tried poking various objects into the doorknob hopelessly. She never had acquired the skill necessary to pick a lock. She went outside to the window, but dared not attempt to remove the screen of Auntie's new house for fear of breaking it. So she waited, just a moment, for poor Auntie to rush out of the shower and find her tennis shoes. Mommy and Auntie wrenched the innocent screen out of the window, but alas, the window was locked. Mommy called Baught's Daddy, hoping not to panic him, but hoping he could give some brilliant advice as to what to do next. Daddy had picked a lock or two in his lifetime, and gave some clues to help, still Mommy had no luck. Auntie called her leasing agent, Rad, to see what he could do. In the meantime, Baught was still calling, "Mommy?" and getting increasingly agitated. Finally! Mommy had an idea! Mommy ran to the kitchen to retrieve....candy. Mommy and Auntie took turns talking to Baught and shoving Smarties and other small candies under the door to distract Baught. Mommy and Auntie feared that if Baught started crying, they would have to kick the door down with superhuman Mommy and Auntie powers. It worked, Baught quieted down long enough for Rad to arrive. Rad brought an arsenal of small tool with him and settled down to work on the door. They heard another "Uh-Oh" as Rad began to bang on the door frame. He said, "She's all right, I hear the candy wrappers rattling." That did it. The absurdity of the situation hit and Mommy and Auntie could not help but giggle, picturing Baught tearing into candy wrappers. Rad had to remove part of the door trim, but was able to hit the catch and open the door to a red-faced, very confused, candy-toting Baught, who finally burst into tears at the sight of the stranger who'd freed her. Mommy picked up Baught and soothed her as Auntie fed her chocolate kisses by the hundreds. Mommy felt sorry for Auntie, who felt sorry for Baught. All was right in the world again, until it was time to go. Then Mommy accidentally hit Baught in the face with the front door, knocking her down. Then she really cried.
The End

*Although this was a true story, names have been changed to protect the, um, innocent.