Feeling Thankful...Post-Christmas letter.

I think I am a little backwards this season.  Today I am feeling thankful.  I think I am about a month and a week late for this feeling to be coming on strong, but that is me these days.  I am thankful to be alive, I am thankful for my family.  I am thankful for this week of not-so-busy schedule and for my two sweet children to be playing together so nicely.  I am thankful to have had many Christmas parties to attend, even if I had to skip a couple, because that means we have many friends and family who love us.  I am thankful to have had another year with the people I love.

I am thankful for this beautiful girl.  She amazes everyone around her with her crazy smartness, even as she cracks us up with the funny things that come out of her mouth, like in this picture, she is singing:

And in this one, she is thinking about what she wants for Christmas: hmm.....

I am so very thankful for my son, and his maturity and kindness.  I forget sometimes that he is five years old, sometimes we have conversations as if he is an adult.  He had a Christmas list for himself, of course, but he was just as excited to pick out gifts for other people in the family, as well.  He wanted to find a Cowboys action figure for his aunt Sonya, and Twilight action figures for me(seeing a theme here?) He is such a special soul and is going to be an amazing man someday.

And then there are these two crazy kids:

We have been together 14 years now and are approaching our 10th wedding anniversary, already.  A long time ago from these days:

(In case you missed this picture from a couple posts ago, or wanted a better comparison picture.)

How time flies when you're having fun!  My, how we have grown up.  Just the other day we were talking about the ways we had changed, and the ways we'd stayed the same.  We have learned a lot about ourselves in the last year or two.  We have learned how to stick together in times of crisis, and what it takes to endure hard times when they seem to be never ending.  We have learned to embrace the fun and joy in life, even when you only get tiny glimpses of it in your day.  We have gained a new appreciation for each other, and the different things we do to support each other.  We love the family we have created together, and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.  I am thankful for the boy in this picture, as well as the man in the picture above.  They are the same, but different to me.   I love them both.  The boy always had a smile on his face.  He had many friends, but managed to make me feel like I was the only person in the world.  The man is still a dreamer, like the boy, but now he takes action.  He works hard to make his dreams come true, then he always has a new dream ready to work toward.  He handles things with maturity.  He is loyal and selfless to a fault.  He is an incredible man.  Being the boy and having that side peek out from time to time is so precious.  Seeing him play and joke with his son and being wrapped around his daughter's tiny little pinkie finger warms my heart.  He is an amazing dad. 

So this is why I am feeling thankful today.

Decisions, Decisions

I need your help, my faithful readers(the one or two of you.)  My dear sister recently took our pictures and I can't decide which is my favorite.  So please help:  Here is number one:

Number two:

Number Three:

Number Four:

Number Five:

Number Six:

Please pay no mind to the cranky looking child on the left.  She may, quite possibly, be the most beautiful little girl on the planet who hates having her picture taken more than anything in the world. Thanks in advance for your help!  Please vote in the poll to your right.

Why Are the Holidays So Hard?

As I sat feeling so sad and sorry for some unfortunate people this Christmas season, it occured to me:  Why are the holidays so hard?  So stressful and depressing for some?  This is definitely a tough time of year, especially with these tough economic times.  Why do we let it get to us at Christmastime?  It should be a time for celebration and love, not inadequacy and sadness.  It seems like people either feel stressed out about trying to afford everything they want to give their family, not being able to afford those things, or charging up the credit cards in an attempt to give their families a "good Christmas." 
I have a theory this Christmas: There will always be one more thing you would like to get, one more gift under the tree and Christmas will feel complete.  Or so you think.  But get that last thing and you will remember another thing that would be just perfect.  Or one child's gift cost just a bit less than the other, so you need to spend an equal dollar amount on both while still making sure they have the same number of gifts to open, so you have to buy another, smaller gift for child #1.  It is neverending, if you let it be.  For some reason this bothers me more this Christmas than in Christmases past.  I think it may be because while my children have made their Christmas lists, there are so many big gifts I would like to get them that are not on their lists.  And it would be so easy to talk myself into it.  Like a new swingset that will support my dear son's weight.  That would be so nice in the backyard.  Or a trampoline.  So many fond memories I have from growing up.  But if I were to get everything on their lists and everything on my list for them, not only would I have gone way overboard, but what would be left for next year?  A car?  And then I think how lucky we are to have utilities paid every single month, let alone being able to have Christmas gifts at all.  So many people are not going to have those things this year.  I remember the small amount of charity work I did last year and being concerned about teaching my son to appreciate the things he has and the gifts he gets.  I suppose I will ponder again on this next year. 
Son is struggling with understanding why he does not have every toy he wants and every single toy every other kid he knows has.  He has enough toys and clothes for three kids, yet there is always something he can find that he doesn't have.  How do I stop the cycle and teach him to start appreciating what he has?  Because there are millions of adults who never learned that lesson, and they have billions of dollars in credit card debt to prove it.  This year, I have food to eat, a roof over my head, a husband and two beautiful and healthy children who I would give my life for.  I have things to complain about, tons of things, but I am alive and breathing.  Which is more than some can say.  So this Christmas, please join me in celebrating what you have, don't worry about what you don't.  Stop running around and enjoy your loved ones while you can.  They will be grown up and gone before you know it.  So what if you couldn't get them every single thing you wanted to for Christmas?  I think it is a good lesson to learn that they may not get everything on their list, but they may get some things that were not on their list.  Life doesn't always give you what you want or think you deserve, but you have to make the most of it.  Merry Christmas to all of you.

Happy Birthday Dear Husband...

Today is the special day my husband was born, many(but one less than me) years ago.  So today, he is a year younger than me(again.)  Yesterday he was two years younger than me.   I felt like such a cougar.  But today, for another 10 months, I am only one year older than he.  Who cares, right?  I do.  Maybe when we are 90 and 91 one tiny little year won't seem so much, but 29 and 30...wow.  Who is that old broad he's married to?  With a little help from Oil of Olay(I guess I should buy some)  I hope to age slower than he does so that in 10-20 years, I will look younger than him.  I am hoping his gray hair comes in quickly, that will help.  Just kidding.....but am I?

So I struggle every year with making sure my darling has a good birthday.  I always buy his presents waaaaay too early and can't hold out, so he has had his birthday(and Christmas) presents for months now.  So every year I sigh when the event comes 'round.  What else can I do to make his birthday memorable?  Like the year my son was born, and was four months old.  My dear partner woke me gently and whispered, "Do you know if I have any clean underwear?"  True Story.  I did manage to find a pair for him, but still.  Bad wife of the year.  So this year what can I do but write a loving and sweet tribute to him that he will read again and again.  Aren't I already doing that?  Hmmm...it doesn't look like it.  New Paragraph.

Happy Birthday, my darling husband.  I remember the first birthday I shared with you.  You were turning 15, and we were at a rehearsal for the Messiah, when our choir director requested it of us.  I remember thinking, "Oh, crap.  He is just turning 15!"  I was really feeling like a cougar in those days.  But I know how you love it.  We have been through many many years since then, some easier and some tougher.  But somehow we have made it through all of them together every day.  I look forward to sharing many more birthdays with you, and I promise that each one will be more special than the last.

Here we are at 17 and 18, I think:

See the stars in our eyes?  Ah, young love.

And here we are, last weekend. 

Sorry, for some reason this one wouldn't go any bigger.  And maybe you don't want to see our wrinkles up close anyway.  I didn't.  Just kidding.  I hope you have a great birthday, babe.